(This is going to be a long post. For that, I’m sorry.)
Do you know the story of the starfish and the little girl? It begins with a little girl walking along a beach where a host of starfish had been stranded. One by one, the little girl picked up a starfish and threw it (them) back into the ocean. A man happened to be jogging by and caught her efforts. “Don’t you know,” he asked her “that there are so many starfish drying on the beach that you cannot possibly get to them all? What difference can you really make?” The little girl smiled, shook her head and pitched another starfish into the deep. “It made,” she informed her doubter, “a difference to that one.”
In talking with several of my friends (in several parts of the world), I am discovering that -making a difference- is something that most of us yearn for. We do not, however, know where to start. We imagine ourselves having to be wealthy beyond possibility, funding disease research, building schools, having medicines named after ourselves.
We forget that we are building a community, a world, one starfish, one ocean wave at a time.
It’s hard. I know.
People are careless. People are casually cruel.
People are thoughtless and heedless and break our hearts.
And we don’t WANT to build a world of love and kindness. We WANT to get even. We WANT to inflict pain on the people who just inflicted pain on us.
Our hearts, they bleed. They seethe. They churn and writhe and fill with bitterness and confusion.
Honestly though? That’s a terrible way to live.
I know. I’m preaching to myself here.
I can be just as hypocritical as the next guy, proclaiming peace while actually filled with selfishness or pride.
I HATE being ignored. I HATE being misunderstood. And I HATE having my heart broken by the people who are supposed to love me the most.
You know what though? At one time, I too, was a starfish. Somebody picked me up, got me out of the sun and threw me back into the coolness of the water.
I was a starfish. I was rescued.
I’m willing to bet you were too.
They are all around us. Brittle, drying, getting sand in places that sand was never meant to go. They are hurt. They are broken.
And we don’t have to be rich to reach out to them. We don’t have to be smart. We don’t have to be beautiful. We just have to care.
It’s been a rough season in my world. It’s also been one of reflection. There are people to this day who don’t know what they mean to me. A look. A touch. A fitly spoken word. These all have lifted me up and given me life. I hope someday to do the same for others.
I too, want to make a difference. Wayne helped me compile this list of ways to do so:
Write a letter to someone who has influenced you.
Write a note of encouragement to someone who is setting a good example.
Write a note of encouragement to someone who is striving to reach a new goal.
Smile.
Leave a note of thanks for your mail person or garbage person.
Tell a co worker what you appreciate about them.
Teach someone to drive, ride a bike, play tennis, swim…
Visit someone who may not be able to get out much.
Babysit for new parents, or come over to help while a new mother naps.
Help a friend organize a closet.
Bake cookies or brownies for your local fire or police department.
Write a note of appreciation to your pastor or other church staff.
Listen without trying to find a space to insert your own opinion.
Instead of throwing away your child’s stories and artwork, write an encouraging note on the top of them and take them to the local hospital or nursing home.
Donate your scrap paper to teachers, hospitals or your local pharmacy.
Get to know the youth of your church. Have a make over party complete with funny hairstyles and popcorn.
Interview a senior citizen. Put the stories that they tell you into a keepsake book.
Actually pray for the people on your list.
Teach a new bride how to cook.
Take a senior citizen to a doctor’s appointment or to pick up their prescriptions.
“Adopt†a local senior citizen as an honorary “grandparentâ€.
Organize a neighborhood talent show.
Host a board game party for college students.
Have a knick knack swap. Exchange knick knacks with your friends and neighbors and redecorate to have a whole new room!
Change the toilet paper roll without your spouse having to ask.
Walk the dog of a friend or neighbor who works during the day.
Pass on the coupons that you get in the mail.
Play games for charity, such as freerice.com
Volunteer with your local school or library.
Let a child who is learning to read share a story with you.
Mow the grass of a single parent.
Pay for someone’s dinner.
Get “caught†bragging on your children or your spouse.
Volunteer to disinfect the toys in your church nursery.
Coach a Little League team or Scout troop.
Read or sing to children at a local school.
Make sock dolls or teddy bears for children in the hospital.
Make baby blankets for a crisis pregnancy center or maternity ward.
Help plan a class or family reunion.
Write a story for a small child and let them illustrate it.
Encourage a shy friend by taking a class or trying out for a play with them.
Present your wife with ballroom dancing lessons.
Organize dinners for a friend who is going through a hard time.
Collect spare change throughout the year and donate it to a missions offering or charity.
See if the local historical society wants to look at the contents of your attic.
Spend time with your parents organizing and labeling old pictures.
Tutor a student struggling with their schoolwork.
String cereal on some yarn as a kind of birdfeeder.
Let a small child tell you a knock knock joke (even if it doesn’t make any sense).
Mail a care package to a college student.
Take a stressed friend out for coffee or ice cream.
Attend a concert or play or recital in support of a friend or their child.
Collect underwear and socks for a local hospital or homeless shelter.
Teach a child an old song or dance.
Don’t always say what you are thinking.
Cheerfully fill your spouse’s coffee cup without saying “You have legs. Get it yourself.â€
Shovel snow for an elderly neighbor.
Collect food and supplies into backpacks to donate to local schools.
Give someone the benefit of the doubt.
Offer to rock a crying baby so a new mom or dad can enjoy a church service/concert/event.
Tip a waiter or waitress for excellent service.
Brag on a service industry worker to their supervisor.
Clean the house of a sick or exhausted friend.
Give hugs. Give many hugs.
Host a neighborhood potluck or movie night.
Encourage someone in their interests or emerging talents.
Help a teenager make a movie or put on a play.
Choose to believe the best in people.
Support a local band or community theatre.
Donate old clothes and household items to a local theatre.
Be available during a church service or revival for prayer with those in need.
Teach or lead an after school class or summer camp.
Donate samples of toothbrushes and hygiene items to a homeless ministry.
Help someone work on their resume.
Supply lemonade or popsicles to a local sports team.
Lend or donate old or used furniture to newlyweds or someone living on their own for the first time.
Slip a love note into your spouse’s purse or pocket.
Slip a cute cartoon or drawing into your child’s lunch.
Tell your church pianist how much you appreciate them.
Take a walk in the rain with someone you love.
Share a meaningful poem or song with your family members.
Tell your child stories of when you were their age.
Leave a penny in a leave a penny take a penny box.
Watch a movie just because a loved one wants to.
Hold the door open for someone.
Help someone label and organize their family pictures.
Take over a responsibility that usually belongs to a stressed out loved one.
Tell a young person you are proud of them.
Take someone who is housebound out for an afternoon drive.
Let someone go ahead of you in line.
Present your favorite teacher, librarian, office worker, secretary with a rose.
Wish someone a good day.
Host a girls’ night out or slumber party.
Take someone out to dinner.
Write someone a poem.
Keep a journal over a year, or five, or ten of letters to your loved one/child/partner. Present it to them on their birthday or special date.
Babysit for an overwhelmed single mom or friend who is going back to school.
Vacuum or dust for a new mom.
Compile a book of Scriptures and notes for your local minister. Let them know how much they are appreciated.
Make a mix tape/CD of songs that remind you of someone special.
Take your loved one on a date. Fall in love all over again.
Call your mother.
Run in a charity race.
Sponsor someone who is participating in a walk-a-thon.
Slip a love note into someone’s lunch or bag or briefcase.
Take someone to a movie that they want to see, even if you know you won’t like it.
Give someone flowers just because.
Write a song or story. Personalize it for someone you love.
Spend time with an older person or a child and just listen.
Put a little extra in your church’s offering plate.
Read a book that your spouse is reading.
Refuse to participate in teasing someone.
Put things in a trash can instead of on the ground.
Rub someone’s shoulders.
Take care of someone’s pet.
Share your umbrella.
Handle interruptions gracefully.
Keep a list of things for which you are grateful.
Take care of someone’s tab.
Think before you speak.
Organize a teddy bear drive. Donate to a local hospital, children’s home or police department.
Take your loved one to play in the snow or dance in the rain.
Pray for the people in your life.
Make bags for homeless people. Fill with easy to open tins of fruit, napkins, toothpaste, washcloths, soap, combs and other food and toiletries.
Take a young person camping.
Use your creative talents to make church, school or work bulletin boards.
Use stray boxes, buttons and colored paper to make instruments for the children in your life.
Let your pastor know specific ways his sermons have blessed you.
Turn off all the lights and have a candlelit camp out on your living room floor, complete with sleeping bags and silly stories.
Organize a multigenerational family picture day. Get special shots of your grandparents and all their descendants.
Check in with someone who has been missing work or church. Sometimes a simple “Is everything okay?†goes a long way in showing that people care.
Become someone’s exercise buddy.
Donate your wedding attire to a service man or woman who is soon to be deployed.
Try to see the best in people. Have faith in others.
Go through your old pictures. Instead of throwing them away, make scrapbooks for your friends and family.
Lend someone a shoulder to cry on.
Create a safe space. Justify the trust people have in you.
Pay the toll for the car behind you.
Bring someone a cup of coffee just because.
Do more than what is asked of you.
Take a nap. Sometimes you just need to decompress.
Ask your church staff for specific ways in which you can serve. Be willing to lend a hand.
Brush and braid someone’s hair.
Be willing to donate your coats, blankets and heaters to people who are cold.
Color a picture for someone you love.
Give credit where credit is due.
Help organize a club, class or family reunion.
Volunteer to help someone on a school project or with a school paper.
Help start a community garden.
Host an “All About You†day to honor someone you love.
Serve breakfast for dinner.
Keep a “Reasons Why We’re Thankful†board and encourage your family members to add to it.
Skip a church service or two. Find an adjacent room to pray for the pastor and congregation instead.
Be willing to say “I don’t know, but we can find out†when a child asks you a question.
Donate gently used magazines to a local doctor’s office or hospital.
Take a tour of your hometown and discover its unique charms.
Put on some old music and dance. Invite your kids to join in.
Start someone’s car on a cold day to warm it up.
Be happy and not jealous at a friend’s good news.
Teach young people how to make snow angels.
Pet a dog or cat to lower blood pressure.
Make confetti hearts out of scrap paper and put them in cards for people.
Make a game out of looking for hearts, stars and smiley faces in the patterns and designs around you.