Me (after having read something political which I NEVER EVER do): Honey?
Kenny (who hates it when I start a question that way because it usually involves adding something to his already full to do list): Yeah? (Picture this said in a sarcastic yet wary tone.)
Me: I’ve been reading about health care and I’m getting worried. What if something happens and I can’t…
Kenny (interrupting me before I go on and on): It’ll be okay.
Me: So if I need something you’ll get it for me?
Kenny: Yeah.
I’m just starting to feel better when he adds this: “Or shoot you, one”.
All righty then. Good to know he has a plan.
**************************************************************************
We’re in the car. The podcasts that Kenny has loaded have come to an end so he switches over to some random music.
I wake up to Neil “There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t.” Diamond. I happen to like Neil Diamond and am happy that the music is on my favorite song “Hello, Again, Hello”. (Yes, I know this isn’t the title of the song, but it’s what I call it. So there.)
So we’re passing Wendy’s and then McDonald’s and the song isn’t over and we pull into our driveway and I expect Kenny to keep the song playing until it finished. He doesn’t. He turns the key and opens the door, which stops the music.
Me (indignantly): Hey! I was listening to that!
Kenny: So? You can listen to it in the house.
Me: But it’s my favorite song!
Kenny (knowing full well that I have about a million “favorite songs”): We’re home now, it’s time to go into the house.
Me (pouting): You used to finish them for me. You used to drive me around so I could hear the music.
Kenny (halfway to the house while I’m still in the car): Yeah. Gas was cheaper then too.
******************************************************************************
At work running newsletters for a community group. Running so many newsletters that we have both the old copier and the new one (that the company recommended when the old copier started acting up) working.
Kenny (upon discovering that the “new” copier is acting up while the “old one” -that used to be the “bad one” is running just fine): Piece of Garbage!
Me: Now honey, I mess up sometimes and you don’t call me a “piece of garbage”.
Kenny: Yeah, but I don’t pay $700 a month for you.
Pause
Kenny: I especially don’t pay $700 a month for you because my first wife is worn out.
Allrighty, then!
Â