So, as I’ve said, I’ve been diagnosed with
Clinical Depression
Bi Polar Disorder
and
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Thank you for asking Questions. I am honored by your interest and am grateful to those who are trying to understand my journey.
The first Question that I would like to try and answer is:
What are practical ways to support someone with these diagnoses?
As I’ve previously explained, I am much more emotional than I am practical, so these suggestions may not be any help AT ALL, but let’s try anyway, shall we?
-Tip That May Or May Not Help Number One
One Word
BELIEVE
If you are embarking on a plan to walk side by side with someone who has been diagnosed with a mental illness or five, please hear me
I cannot stress enough how important Belief is
I know. I know. There are denominations and sects out there imparting their particular understandings that
1. Mental illness does not exist
or that
2. Mental illness is a sin
or that
3. Mental illness can be forced away if one just prays strongly and repeatedly.
Let me be clear. I believe in sin. I believe that some things that we encounter in our lives are BECAUSE of said sin (both our own and that of others).
I believe in prayer. I believe that things happen BECAUSE of prayer and faith and belief and the will of God and the existence of miracles (which I also believe in) and I believe that mental illness CAN be a part of a person’s life one minute and not the next because there is a God (Yes,I believe in Him too) who can and DOES heal the bodies minds and spirits of the people of this world.
I just don’t believe that such healing happens to everyone.
I believe that prayers can and do remain unanswered, at least as answers to prayer apply to those who are doing the praying.
I believe that sometimes the answer is no.
I believe that sometimes people receive a diagnosis informing them that they are and are going to be mentally ill and accept such diagnosis, only to have to fight against the baffled disbelief of the people who claim to love them.
I believe that sometimes people are themselves baffled by a diagnosis only to face the overwhelming emotions and excessive need for reassurance from others. This can lead to more hiding away of feelings, more disinclination to ask for what is needed, more experiencing of self doubt than someone else who is trying to fit a diagnosis into their own new reality would experience.
And I believe that some people take a deep breath or two, gather all the courage they can, let the people around them know about the additions to their mental status only to hear
YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now hear me:
I understand that first reactions can be initial bursts of shock and disbelief that can affect even close relationships in ways that neither party ever intended.
But I also know that
YOU ARE NOT
You just want attention
Are you SURE
Now WHAT did your doctor say
and other such utterances can cut.
So if you are a person who HAS doubts about the diagnosis of a friend or loved one, instead of unintentionally attacking or confusing, consider the following alternatives
-Asking how such a diagnosis makes your conversation partner feel (but be prepared to encounter confusion. Even people who have lived with a mental illness diagnosis for years may not have a handle on the emotions such processes may stir up in them)
-Talking to a counselor yourself or asking to sit in on one of your loved one’s sessions (the knowledge a trained professional can bring to such a life journey may just prove to be helpful to both you and the person you love)
-Educate yourself. I have no idea if there are support groups for friends/siblings/parents/partners/spouses of those with PTSD or Bi Polar disorder, but there might be. If so, learning about the experiences other people have with THEIR friends and loved ones might help you understand your own partner. It also might help you figure out just WHAT all the confusing letters associated with the mentally ill actually stand for. (For example, you may be wondering just what OCD IS anyway.)
And try to remember something that my counselor told me after I had expressed sadness that the people around me would greet the retelling of my memories with much doubt and the information that they as a group did not recollect things to have been those experiences at all.
“Just because other people can’t remember, doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. The feelings are real.”